Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield

Because he said ....
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over.
Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, 'Are you crying because you're going to hate yourself in the morning? ' She said, 'No, I'm crying because I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. Last night she called me from Chicago.


My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

who is their leader? Path train vitoria secret fruit guy lichee nuts

Who is their leader? Uttered at children dance show at New Victory theater

Fat black woman with Victoria's secret taking a seat. Woman had to wait for her to remive it.


Lichee nuts were 3$ per pound 2 lbs for 5 dollars 3 pounds for 8 dollars.

woman wanted 2 pounds. Only got one.

Part Time Permanent Director of Theater Operations

This just in: a certain excellent theatre in Williamsburg that is made of bricks (NOT straw or sticks) is seeking a PT director of operations. Here's the skinny:

The Brick is hiring a new Director of Operations for an August start and immediate training. This is a part-time permanent position for $15 per hour at 20 hours per week. Opportunities for further hours also exist. To apply, please send a resume and cover email to info@bricktheater.com.

Qualifications
College degree required
Demonstrated experience in an office environment
Strong computer skills with experience with Office, and social media management tools
Strong organizational skills
Ability to manage multiple projects simultaneously
A positive attitude
Ability to work approximately 2 box office shifts per week (flexible)

Benefits
Free space at The Brick (when available)
Wide-ranging management experience in the New York theater industry
Opportunity to create theatrical programs, initiatives or series that interest you
Priority production opportunities

Position Tasks

Space Management at The Brick
Maintaining and cleaning the space weekly
Arranging, purchasing and receiving supplies
Coordination with contractors and repair people (piano tuning, e.g.)
Depositing cash at the bank
Maintaining small change at the box office
Coordination with staff re reconciling of box office envelopes/serving as backup reconciler
Learning and knowing the operations of all on-site equipment, arranging for repair/replacement as needed in coordination with staff
Tracking, copying and distributing keys to appropriate individuals

Artists’ Liaison: Communicating with artists across all programs
Communicating space and equipment and staffing issues as necessary
Sending and tracking artist contracts
Coordinating payment of artists with the Brick Finance staffer
Arranging for paperwork for Resident Artists
Arranging for rehearsal rentals

Intern Program Management
Canvasing for interns on an ongoing basis
Supervising and designing all intern work and arranging for primary projects and backup projects, balanced by a well-rounded indie theater experience from all angles
Arranging for intern compensation and travel coverage
Arranging box office shift coverage for interns in coordination with staff

Scheduling
Managing The Brick Google Calendar
Arranging rentals (when time allows)
Arranging space viewings
Scheduling festivals and techs (if needed)

Ticketing
Knowing all primary Ovationtix functions, including how to build a show
Serving as backup Ovationtix show creator
Knowing how to set up discounts in Ovationtix
Arranging for group discounts, school discounts, Goldstar ticketing, Yelp Nights and other 3rd party audience development programs
Overseeing the checking of The Brick Comp Request Form

Marketing
Overseeing daily Facebook posts (cultivating interaction by developing a creative voice that is not strictly promotional). Twitter, Vine & Instagram updates.
Arranging for brochures (designed by outside designers)
Drafting and sending the Eblast (including any cross-promotions)
Sending Press Invites; Press Releases and following up as per the “Marketing Calendar”
Maintaining and updating Flickr
Arranging for artists to send their photos, bios, scripts and materials to you in a timely manner
Keeping Press & VIP list up to date
Updating received press on the Press Links Googledoc

Various
Entering shows on The Brick website and keeping it up to date
Troubleshooting issues as they occur
Helping with fundraisers and Brick community events
Ordering program covers when needed
Updating donor names to website and program covers
Arranging for staff-signed thank-you cards to donors

To apply, please send a resume and cover email to info@bricktheater.com.

david cindy project thoughts

mask : green mask?

daid = cindy husband ? cindy priest affair
david back

almost violent

baby in blanket